An assumption that is often made about me is that I have always loved math and that I was always good at math. People are surprised when I share that math was the toughest subject for me in school and the one where I made my lowest grades. I remember working example after example trying figure out a pattern to the correct answers. I was trying to learn or understand the math, rather I was just trying to find a way to get the right responses. I only attended tutoring & office hours for math classes in both high school and college. I got high B’s and A’s in my math classes, but I didn’t actually understand the math. I had the opportunity to take Algebra 1 in middle school, but I deffered until high school because I was afraid of math and I knew there was no point in taking a Calculus AP test my senior year because I would not score well. In complete contrast, I have always loved reading. I am an avid reader and one of my favorite things to do growing up was going to the library every week to pick up a new stack of books. I was able to interpret and analyze texts and I always found my literature classes easy. I scored well on AP tests that required writing and won multiple writing awards. When I became a third-grade teacher, I found it easy to guide my students to enjoy reading. I had numerous comprehension strategies in my toolbox ready to teach my students.
My math teacher-toolbox was very limited. I made it my goal to help my students feel confident about their mathematics abilities. I made math as engaging as possible and worked with them to become problem solvers. In order to do this, I had to face my fear and learn the math. I had to understand how math works, why math works, and the connections between different math concepts. I made a conscious effort to question “strategies” that were shared with me. What is the math being taught? What is the purpose of this shortcut? What does this part of the shortcut mean? What is the purpose of this strategy? Is this a real strategy or trick? These questions led me conclude that the “butterfly method” for comparing fractions is a trick that does not support the understanding of fractions. It was the same thing as me working out textbook problems until I found a pattern that helped me get the correct answer regardless of me not understanding the math. In my experience, many elementary educators have a fear of math. It is that fear that should prompt us learn more about the math we don’t completely understand and teach students real mathematics rather than “strategies” or “methods” that have little to no math sense.
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